Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Headlines From The Election

Pot Smokers Too Stoned To Get Their Act Together And Show Up At Voting Booths! Shocking New Findings! News At 11!

The best result of the night was Marco Rubio's victory in Florida. I rate that guy. The fact that Charlie Crist is sleazier than the Pakistani used car salesman who sold me a Honda Civic with wheels of different sizes (true story) makes it even sweeter. You can Rubio's victory speech here, it's pretty damn good. It also reminds me that the Republican Party hasn't actually had a presidential candidate who was a good public speaker since Reagan.

The worst result of the night was that Barney Frank, the nincompoop most responsible for monstrosity that is federal housing policy, hung on to his seat. Bah. In a better world, he'd be being chased out of town by citizens with pitchforks.

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